b*tchin n luvin it!

in light of recent events, i had a wee think about life and people and how the universe puts itself together.

though i profess to be a very empathetic soul, i cannot, with precision, predict what it feels like to be in someone else’s shoes.how we go through life impacts upon the kind of person we eventually become, and to put one’s self in another person’s shoes would mean to see things by taking on their perspective.but how close is our perception of their perspective if we have led completely different lives? how can i try to be you if i’ve led my life being me the whole time?

i believe that, yes, there will be some common experiences and that,yes, it’s not impossible to predict how another person’s life experiences would effect their personality. Shrinks and psychologists do that when they profile a person, though it may not be accurate everytime, it’s pretty damned close. but what about the exceptional cases? what about life-changing experiences?some trivial experience for one person might completely turn another person’s life around

Since i’ve been here in New Zealand, I’ve had to deal with experiences that have made me take a back view in the car that i call my personality and try to see myself for what i really am. there have been some ups and downs but i think if i hadn’t gone through what i’ve had to deal with while i was here, i wouldnt have gotten the opportunity to push my limits and boundaries, to test the waters of the deep(or shallow) pool that is my psyche. watching how other people around me deal with their lives has also given me some perspective on how our perception of the world is effected by our universe.by watching others also, ive come to realize the things that i do not want to be. whether i am them or not,i havent quite figured out. but i think having an idea of your own self is a good start for someone my age.

i think with my birthday looming around the corner, this year, im spending more time to really reflect on who i am n whether i like what i see looking back at me in the mirror. i have said before that i am a contradiction, that some parts of me are polar opposites of other parts. but i think it’s this ridiculous balance that makes me who i am. if i were only the good stuff.i’d be boring.if i were only the bad stuff, i’d be insane.

i guess what i’m try to say is it’s hard at times to see the logic of how other people behave. and there are most probably times when we ourselves will question our own perception of the world. when that time comes, i hope that neither of us will be too disappointed with the results.

OMG,i am soooo freakin sick right now,im scared for my life.seriously.like this is on the verge of turning into meningitis if im not carefull(what i’m saying might not necessarily be true coz at the moment,its safe to say that im quite DELIRIOUS from the fever and constant blowing of the nasal cavity)
last night was the worst night of my life.i couldn’t sleep coz the fever was keeping me awake.you know when you get a fever,your body changes how it feels really quickly?like at one point,i feel so hot and stuffy i had to take off all my clothes only to get really cold chills ten miutes later.i know that this is like a teeeney,TINY,microscopic level of a dilemma,but man,those 12 hours of sleep i tried to get last night,was like the worst 12 hours of my life.seriously.i didnt know what i was feeling,i was so confused as to what i needed to do,i didnt have the strength to get the things i wanted;i was powerless and definitely slightly deranged.i couldnt tell which side was up and down.seriously.
getting up this morning was an equally challenging feat.i dont remember what time i actually got up or how long i laid in bed,but actually getting up and taking a shower was such a challenge.i felt better after tho,had some meds and water and chilled out for a little bit.but towards the evening,the nightmare started all over again.i thought i was in the clear zone,but no.its such a horrible feeling to be a sloth against your own will.there’s deliberately being a sloth because you CHOOSE to be sloth-like and being sloth-like because of unforseen circumstances that render you incapable to dictate how you shold behave.i was of the latter -_-"
and its not a very nice place to be!no make up,blowing on a piece of recycled tissue paper,constant headache throbbing at the back of your head.oh no.its not a pretty picture.and half of huia saw me in this terrible state.dang it.
oh well,i guess we all have our good days and bad days.
ok,am seriously tired from staring and bright screen and not blinking.am going to tr and get some sleep.if thats possible.i reckon it would actually be easier to stay up all night rather than trying to sleep -_-"
oy vey

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i’m not too kepeningan about everything that my kekepalaan is so kesakitan that it is tak keterhinggaan. all the stuff that is ketimpaan on my kekepalaans is like way too memberangsangkan(im not kepastian if that is the correct perkekataan to describe it).well, actually kebanyakan kebendaan yang ketertimpaan on my keotakan is  kinda my own kebuatan la. i can just as  easily lupakan all this  kekeliruan.but,  alangkah kesedihan sekali, because the kehujanan that is always kejatuhan with a kekerapan yang sangat ketinggian, it is very the kesenangan to feel kesedihan.but, nevertheless,exam season is steadily making a kemunculan which means i dont have time to kebaziran on kontemplating about all this krap.

oh well

i just feel really shit today so i want to rant on and on about nothing and nonsense.if you have a headache from reading this,i apologize.but now u can go write a blog about how stupid this blog was.i wont care

have a nice headache

…how unfuckably cold it is outside,i am contemplating the need for a major wardrobe overhaul.
i know i’m not one who is in need of clothes(looking at how unbelieveably cluttered my closet already is), but seriously,the change in weather has left me outdated in fashion. i am most definitely in need of some new jeans(my current two,and most favourite pair are ripped in places i definitely would not want frostbite on), some nice new sockies to keep my twinkies from shrivelling off,a few good pair of leggings/pantyhoses(i never thought i’d see the day i’d actually wear them), and possiblely,but not definitely, a pair of gumboots(ever heard of the song?apparently it’s quite popular here in New Zealand and is very catchy!)
I would have gotten the leggings aforementioned if it hadnt been for that MASSIVE pullout of funds that so unexpectedly occured on wednesday,post-coffee date with the girls.there i was at Farmers,leggings already in hand,standing at the front of the line,waiting for the EFTPOS purchase to go thru when the cashier told me that my card had been declined(you should have seen the look on her face mind you).i was shocked to learn later on that my bank account was in overdraft,with me oweing the bank a casual NZD1,223.68. lucky me,i had funds elsewhere to cover the loses,but still,it was a pretty low blow and a very painful one to boot.needless to say,i hope the issue gets sorted out ASAP or i’ll be in a whole load of tripe(not that i am not already in a somewhat sizeable load already).
with winter not that far away, a girl needs to have her financial support in the form of cash in the bank so she know,with assurance,that should she ver need to indulge in a hot cup of hot chocolate or a big bowl of soup to fend of the chilly winter winds and rain that she can make such a purchase without having to call the bank to double check if she can actually afford it(hot chocolate and soup being the quintessential winter indulgence..aside from scarves and wooly things).
and of course,i cant afford to pile on the winter blubber seeing that my trip to tonga(THREE TO TONGA!!!!)is not that far away.i’ll probably need to restrict all activity to being indoor,not that i will get any(i’m absolutely hopeless at getting things done).i hope runnign around between classes,RA meetings and gigs and living my everyday life schedule will keep me in a tolerable shape to enjoy Tonga’s beaches without getting overly paranoid about my love handles(damned those trouble spots!).
oh well,enough on this rant,i have work to do(which i probably wont get done anyways knowing how well i like to procrastinate)

have you ever had one of those days when you were so busy you couldn’t remember if you’ve actually put a pair of knickers on?well, it’s not so much as to whether you have a pair of knickers on.that’s easy to know, you can feel if it’s on or not. but more importantly, do you remember which pair you plucked out of the pile of panties(hopefully the clean ones) and placed around your privates. see that illustrates how out of sync i am these days.not only am i unsure about which drawers i’ve got on under my pants, im also unsure of the hygiene level of the underpants sitting in my drawers. life is flying by at such a pace,everything is so hazy. but at times, the fast pace also brings in much needed relief. for example, the increasingly rapid approach of the end of the month means money coming in faster than it can go out. before i realise it, the end of the week come which means i’ll be one week closer to getting paid or one week closer to flying to tonga or one week closer to flying to NYC.

but itll also mean im one week closer to sitting for examsone,one week closer to losing Sha, i’ll have one week less to spend in NZ.

oh well.i just hope i’ll have enough clean laundry for when the time comes

i’m at a stage in my life where i feel like i need to doubt every little thing that goes on because things just never seem to be the way they appear.

take for example,my English language skills.i thought that i,being a product of American and British TV show brainwashing,can be considered as having an equivalent level of proficiency in English as a native speaker.but it turns out that i don’t.what more with my horrendous writing skills,which was blatantly pointed out during my first sem in ENGWRIT101 and ENG104 in second sem.so despite appearing to be good at English,i actually suck pretty bad.which stinks.

it’s all very confusing,doubting everything around you.it’s also very tiring,which is not something i need to be dealing with right now because i have a lot on my head and my head is makng me dizzy and i’s not good to be dizy when you’r etrying to study.

oh well,shit happens

anyways,i’m trying to get my act together and so far it’s been an okay attempt.i guess geting back to the pace of uni is more demanding than i thought it would be.gonna try and be on top of the ball and ahead of the game.and i gotta renew my gym membership since i wont be going back in the middle of the year like i thought i would.dammit dammit dammit.

i wish things would just work out 

oh yeah!i got’s it!i got’s it!

i got me a sweeeeeeet ass deal for accomodation next year!crashing at Huia residences up on Grafton road.yes,it’s a little far from uni and town.yes,i will be a little isolated from the rest of the ppl.do i care?well….kinda.only for the ppl that matter that is.but the rest can go fly kites man!i’m gonna be away from prying eye.away from all the haters.away.away from it all…bunch a mofo’s cant keep their damned mouths shut.kecoh giler.hampeh tul

but i’m gonna be an RA.which is sweet coz i won’t have to pay rent.which is sweet coz rent=lots of money so me not having to pay lots of money for my rent means i have more money for me to spend on myself

how loverly is that?????this means more travelling,better food,maybe a scooter?????hmmmmm….things are about to get interesting….

hopefully the ppl moving into huia will be a pretty awesome bunch.am looking forward to 2008 now that huia iis confirmed.very very happy!!!!!!yay!!!!!

official date of moving into huia will be 11th of february so anyone who gets my invite to come lepak at my crib,please do drop by

till the next post,merry christmas,happy hanukah,good luck for boxing day shopping,happy new year and happy holidays!!!!

ahem ahem.my blog has unfortunately been collecting cyber dust during my abscenes so ive decided to post a random blog about something.so i chose food.for a number of reasons.

reason 1:JAckie.yes you read right.JAckie.she belanja-ed me and sha to lunch sometime during last week as we were catching up with her since her trip back from malaysia.but on the way to meet Jackie to have lunch with her,we(me and sha) unexpectedly bumped into……

PAK CIK KEITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes,our adorable pak cik keith,sporting a new do’, was VERY DELIGHTED to see both of us.and,boy were WE excited to see HIM!!!!hehehehe.we bumped into each other at the corner of old government house lecture theatre(he was coming from Fisher B,we were heading to Fisher B so we met somewhere in the middle).we exchanged hurried hellos and silly remarks(So typical of pak cik keith!) and said our goodbyes.

so at Fisher B,i escort Sha to see some dude to get some concession for her summer school course and we bump into………..

ABANG NEIL!!!!!!!!

…who is less animated as pak cik keith but STILL quite excited to see moi(he has not had the opportunity to meet the loverly sha yet ;),so we exchanged hort hellos and said our goodbyes.

then we went to jackies office and headed out to lunch(which was really yummy by the way,seafood chowder with bread.delicious!).hence her connection to food(but i also wanted to drop in the fact that i bumped into both keith and neil,one the same day,out of the blue,it as awesome )

reason 2:malaysia.me just had a chat on the phone with me awesome auntie monty and i mentioned how i wanted to work out a food schedule to make sure i get to eat everything i want to eat without eating the same thing twice.it sounds like an impossible feat,but,i think,it can be done.somehow.

among my top choices of malaysian food tobe consumed within my stay back home is

milo ais from any mamak stall,mum’s crab curry,monty’s fish briyani,benjo from KMS,any sort of Ramli burger,ikan pari masak asam,ikan keli masak lemak,nasi dagang,roti banjir,tosai,roti telur,cheap malay food stall rice,nasi ayam,satay kajang….LOTS OF IT,sirap bandung,teh tarik,that expensive hainanese roti kaya,1 hotel buffet breakfast,one of the chinese style noodles rom KGNS terrace cafe,masala tosai,nasi lemak.durian porridge,mcflurry.

so far thats all i’m thinking of but the list will go on.for sure.

reason 3:me is very of the hunger right now but me is very he lazy to be cooking.i guess i’ll heat up a can of something.im torn between soup and pasta.sigh.

ka mate koe i te kai hikareti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. im sick and exams are on Saturday
2.my roomie is gonna be leaving in almost a weeks time 
3.apparently,wellesley doesnt come under Uni services accomodation and if i want to be an RA i have to go into a Uni services accomodtion
4.my room is still a wreck
5.this ass of a guy thinks he can nominate me for a superlative on facebook.he hasnt even talked to me in his entire life.dah la nominate entah aper punye nomination.asshole.