b*tchin n luvin it!

yesterday,on the way to seremban,i was listening to my granduncle give some bits of advice to my mum and dad and me.we talked about many hings,the economy,health,normal stuff..
then he started on religion
as an intellectual man,i listened to what he had to say,and i felt dat he made a lot of sense.
one thing we focused on was taking wuduk before prayers.he was talking about all the little doas u can ask for each part of the body.i knew all this before,from lessons in school and at college,but to hear my granduncle talk about it again,i really got to see the beauty of the religion.
when u think about it,religion is all we need to do well in this world.patience,compassion,being selfless,if all the muslims in the world could instill these qualities in ourselves,i’m sure we’d be much stronger and more successful in our lives.but i guess we’re so blinded by worldly things dat we lose sight of wats important.people are ruthless in pursuit of moneys that wont buy our way to heaven.we drape ourselves in fineries that wont accompany us to our grave nor protect us in the afterlife.we compromise our values to achieve success here in this world and we never think about what our actions will cost in the afterlife.
its just a thought…but i hope it wont pass me by…maybe one day,if God is willing,i hope to truely embrace the religion that i have taken for granted now.i hope that i will be able to receive His Hidayah and become one of the blessed people.

during these past few days,i’ve been very depressed and glum,staying at home the whole time.i guess inactivity doesn’t go well with me.

i spent my days pondering about many things and i realised that i didn’t really like the answers and images i saw in my head.and i wasn’t thinking about crappy stuff,i did some BIG time evaluation,thinking about things like family,my future,how i feel about myself,about religion,my direction and purpose in life on a greater level…

i started thinking what the hell happened?i began reminising about happier times,times when i used to sing Spice Girls songs out loud with my sister in the middle of the day,times when we used to get excited about rain and how we’d try to sneak out of the house to play in it,days when i didn’t have to worry about eveything i said or did because i was insignificant in the world.

to unoccupy my thoughts with all this depressing ideas,i decided to clear up my increasingly messy room.as i cleared out my drawers and hunted for all my little buried treasures,i stumbled upon all the memorabilias of the good times,kept safely in a green box file.as i opened up that box file,i was overpowered by the sweet smell of a scented candle a very good friend of mine gave me for 18th birthday.i was an awakening of the senses to see,touch,feel,smell and relive the happy memories that were conjured by all those little memorabilias.amongst the items there were birthday cards given to me by my friends,letters from my pen pal in japan,tickets from events that i had attended,pictures of me and friends,stuff that had a meaning that only i could understand.one such item was a red feather.at first i couldn’t remember where it was from.then i realised it was part of the uniform i had to use when i was marching for my sports house back when i was in form 4.we dressed as red indians since we were representing rumah saga.everybody received a red feather and a red headband with the writing "saga" on it.i also found stuff i kept from my choir days,like the poster of our first musical,les miserables,and the programme books from the shows we did with the rotary club in ipoh.those were good times indeed.

it’s good to find all those items again.it was exactly what i needed to remind me that life was once upon a time simple and fun and happy.that box of happiness to me is my most precious possesion for the time being.to me,everything in that box signified something big in my life,something that was worth remembering.

i’m glad that i have a box of happiness.and i hope that everybody has one too.because sometimes life can get you down so low,and u think u have noone,no place and nowhere to turn to,that box of happiness can do wonders for ur troubled state of mind.i know it did for me.

yes,its a very romantic story and all…filthy rich guy marries girl below his social rank,its a match made in love rather rank land…bla bla bla bla~
and the cinematic landscape of the English country side definitely has a certain quality that forces the individual to become a dopey eyed,lovey dovey,fumbling moron in love.
but dats just it isn’t it?it’s not real!!!!
i mean,strictly speaking,as a girl,i’m kinda miffed that the world still keeps feeding us ideas about faerie tales..it’s ridiculous!yeah,everybody’s a sucker for a good romance movie but then we tend to want to be like the fictional characters in the movie…
wat i did like about the movie was that it did potray,to a small extent,the turmoil and depression women face in the issue of marriage.i mean,mothers fretting about their unmarried daughters,unmarried daughters getting worried what wud happen if they remain as spinsters.its very traumatic.seriously.
but on the other hand,looking at the bigger picture is,that doesn’t apply to women now.women now have been given the gift of education which in turn is a ticket to financial independence so unfortunately we can’t really sympatize with the plight of the bennet ladies.
but because their story ends with a happy ending(the lead character ending up getting married and is no longer a financial burden to her family and at the same time she actually found a guy who loves her…wow!…-_-")feamle audiences worlwide go weak in the knees and are all fantasizing about finding their own mr. darcy..
when will the lies stop?!i mean we all know there are no mr.darcy’s and definitely no knight in shining armour.but why does hollywood still play off that whole idea?yes it definitely appeals to the female audiences but can actually cause more damage than good.
i wished more movies like "enough" and "the stepford wives" would be made,movies that show women becoming empowered and realising their worth.yeah i know i sound like some man hater/down with love girl…but i’m just trying to be realistic
because i know more than anybody else,reality ain’t as sugar coated as the movies.and thats a fact.

Last night,the nite PCD set Sunway Lagoon ablaze,the nite boys turned to men and women turned to lesbians,the nite PAS and other religious groups will debated about in Parliament (for obvious reasons) for the next 10 years,i was there in the crowd,screaming my head off,for a bunch of scantily dressed girls,who moved like they were born to dance…

Yes,i was there to watch The Pussycat Dolls Live! in action,and all i can say is….wow…..

The girls,Nicole,Carmit,Jessica,Melody,Ashley,Kimberly,were all sizzling hot in their tiny outfits.They wore killer boots that they dance in as if they were born with them.So many images of these sexy mamas comes flashing into my mind everytime i hear a PCd tune on the radio.

Aaaand…if u think they sound good on radio and look great in the video…well,lets just say,they are better on-stage.What do u expect?they are a burlesque act rite?

i start pouting my lips just watching the "buttons" vid on my computer,can u imagine how crazy it was when they opened the show with dat number?oh my god…all i can say is…man…those girls are the definition of HOT!!!!!!!and they actually did the dance sequence in the video live and it looked so freaking good!!!!esp the butt pop part…damn i was like bitting my fists tryin to control myself.

3 really freakin lucky kids from the audience,2 girls and 1 guy,got to be onstage with PCD.man,the dolls were all over dat small dude…he was probably the luckiest guy in the whole of Malaysia coz all 6 of the dolls were just layaning him….and the best part was nicole asked them to stay back so that they can all play together in the water park…..T.T…uhuhuhuhuhuhuhhuhu~

i have to say,i have lots of respect for those girls.yeah,ok,many people will say they are just selling their bodies and are making women look like whores.but at least they came clean about it rite?i mean they have always linked their history back to PCD being a burlesque act,and they r proud of it!plus,nicole carmit and melody do have REALLY good voices.the cd does not do justice to their talents.as for making women look like nothing but sex slaves,i believe that these girls are actually making women realise that we can be stronger by being more sexually confident of ourselves.and theres actually one song that goes something like this:

I don’t need a man to make it happen, I get off bein’ free
I don’t need a man to make me feel good, I get off doin’ my thing
I don’t need a ring around my finger, to make me feel complete
So let me break it down- I can get off when you ain’t around!

i think PCD will be like the Spice Girls of this generation.And i still believe in the Spice Girl’s message of "GiRRLLL PoWEEER!!!!".Maybe PCD is just bringing it in a new and improved packaging.but its undeniable that these girls will definitely leave an impact on the music industry and women everywhere,whether its us trying to steal their dance moves or us finding inspiration in their confidence and personality…..

yesterday was nice and slow.lepaked with monty in the morning.slept till afternoon.went to kl to get sumthin only to realise we already had it…hahahaha…had roti bakar with kaya & butter…yummy!read the book i was reading(the scent of pepper by kavery nambisan)nite time shadz and miralem came over with pizza..yummy!then tidor…

today,woke up real early by holiday standards,followed aunty to her office at ampang,took the lrt to sentral,lepaked there for a bit…i really like the place la..esp today coz the trains were running and ppl were bustling about so hurriedly and i didnt have to get caught in the traffic of it all..the place is really beautiful when the sunlight comes thru the roof panes…around 10 i went to masjid india and got my kain songket and a few nitty gritty stuff..hehehe…little guilty pleasures…did a lot of walking man!giler la…but it was fun nevertheless…

now im back in the boring old house..sigh…after all that activity…it sucks to b here…

ok,after a week of activities,i am officially exhausted…

never in my life have i ever had so many outings in one whole week..

but i undoubtedly had lots of fun

kudos to the gals and guys who coloured my days,starting wif cousin sara,sureen,fatin,long,danial,sureens mum(hi auntie!!!),kak hanis and gang(desmond,u rockd singing BSB…XD),miralem(i swear i will get ur ears,one day..hehehe),shaz,shaz’s mum(hi auntie) and shaz’s very fat and cute cat,putih(MeOW~!)

i’m goona take breather,refresh my batteries for PCD concert this wednesday

~i’m tellin ya to loosen up my buttons babe  (a-huh)~

meow!

wow,the week is wrapping up to an end so quickly and i still have so much to look forward to..
it started with cousins day out last sunday,which was quite a blast…me shadz sara and amira going around doin our thang…
then i cant remember in wat order exactly but there was a meeting wif the frens to catch pirates on tuesday nite which was later converted into lepaking at the mamaks tilll the wee hours of wednesday morning,ending with a sleepover at sureens.
wednesday saw me snoozing in at sureens and catching up wif spongebob.also cried my eyes out dat nite coz i was so depressed..reasons unknown..but it still felt good to cry..it always does…
today,thursday,woke up and dragged myself to pyramid,flirted with the rather cute PCD ticket guy,got hold of PCD tickets,went to ampang to kaqraoke with friends and now,in the wee hours of friday morning,my throat itches
later today,insya-Allah,i will meet shaz(YAY!!!),lepak wif her at the curve,crash at her house and do sum crazy gurl shit (we’ve been meaning to catch up on dat)
tomorow,we will lepak sumwhere…then i’ll come home,by train,which will be another adventure..
sunday will be spent recouping from my insanely fun week…

and then next week……

well,me was able to meet up wif girls(fatin&sureen)+2 boys(long&danial) at midval to catch movie(pirates2)
company was great…movie was ok….lepaking at mamak in bangsar was awesome!!!!
very nice of fatin to tumpang me n sureen to bangsar and very nice of danial to drive us back to sureens…
me and her lepakd and talked a bit b4 we dosed off…love it wen we do stuff like dat…
the morning after startd in the afternoon…and with murtabak…hahahahaha
auntie was nice enuff to drive me home…i still feel kinda guilty cuz its so far away…thanks auntie!!!!
all and all…i had fun…who wudn’t if they were surrounded by a great bunch of ppl…
tonite i await the same fate with a different bunch of ppl..tonite..we will make it rain!!!!

i just woke up…still feeling a bit groggy….went downstairs…no breakfast…as usual…

turn on the comp….checked a few sites…nothing new,same old rubbish….

dont want to zombify myself in front of the telly….maybe i shud go back to sleep….

arghhh….-_-"

ok..i’m a lil down with something that kinda saps me of inspiration..
for example..i can’t seem to look at milashka(my guitar) the same…the only tune i play on her is either foo fighter’s "everlong"(which i am so darn proud of being able to play coz that is my ultimate song EVER) or sarah mclachlan’s "hold on"(which is also a beautiful song in it’s own right)…
i’m trying to learn a song Trevor(guitar mentor and self-professed guitargod) recommended..which is stairway to heaven..but it’s kin da tricky cuz it requires quite a lot of hand eye brain co-ordination..i appear to be kinda under-privileged in that area..-_-"
so what happens?
i kinda give up and leave my baby alone cuz im so frustrated that i cant learn the song…*sniff*sniff*
but cue enter my wonderful mentor…a few well thought words of advice and my spirits r revived…only to be dampened by a sheer and overwhelming sense of exhaustion one can only experience if one explores the bazaars of mont kiara in mid-day sun topped up with a round of shopping at subang parade…which is wat happened to me….
so now,i am exhausted and as Trevor said,i’m at a "plateau" in my guitar learning and i am in desperate need of inspiration…
help…=(